Cat Ate Bacon : Man tries to get cat arrested for eating his bacon

A man wanted to press charges against his girlfriend and her cat because she let the feline eat his bacon.

According to an audio report released by England’s West Yorkshire police department, the (apparently) hangry dude wanted justice for crimes against grease.

“Me girlfriend has let the cat eat my bacon,” you can hear the man say. “I want to press charges.”

Somehow unfazed, the dispatcher asked the bacon-less bro if he wanted to take action against his girlfriend or the cat. Both, he said. And that’s when she delivered a shocking, cold-hard truth.

“It’s not a criminal offense to let your cat eat your bacon,” she said. “We don’t arrest cats. I’m very sorry.”

Still adamant, the No-Bacon King clapped back: “No, but me girlfriend allowed the cat to do it.”

But our dispatcher didn’t back down. “It’s not a 999 emergency,” she said, ending the bizarre conversation.

Listen, we understand where homeboy was coming from. Imagine going home and seeing bae’s feline eating your precious bacon—sassing you, licking its bacon-tasting lips like it doesn’t give a single f—k about your feelings. You were going to make a BLT with that bacon! Now, all hope is lost. Hell, we’d take legal action, too.

What a GD blessing this is.

Agencies/Canadajournal